“Happy New Year!”
It always has a joyful ring to it. On New Year’s Day, and perhaps for a short while after, it is heard and shared around the world.
The greeting, sometimes offered in the local language, usually elicits a grateful or similar response, often accompanied by a smile and, where appropriate, a warm hug. People are thankful to have made it into another year.
‘Happy New Year’ is at once a celebration of survival and a statement of hope that the one who delivers the words will be able to do so again and hear them returned, the following year.
The greeting itself can be infectious. My younger son caught it at age two, falling so deeply in love with it that, halfway through the year, he was still delivering it to complete strangers in the streets and shops.
People loved him for it. But of course, he was a child. I am certain that if those words had come from the mouth of a bearded 40-year-old in June, especially if he was also spreading his arms for hugs, he would have been quickly led away in handcuffs.
As cell phone use has become more widespread, a related “Happy New Month” has crept into the habits of some people, particularly Nigerians. We seem to feel there is no reason to wait an entire year to celebrate newness, and so every 30 days, the greeting is shared afresh.
The way I see it, this is a frontier to be approached with caution. If you are fond of it, that is fine for you. But that does not mean others appreciate it, even if they are too polite to tell you so. As a prayer, it does not require monthly scheduling, nor do people need to be informed that you are praying for them.
How can you tell if your “Happy New Month” kindness is being received with genuine joy? One way is to pause for a month or two, or three, and see who, among those to whom you routinely send monthly wishes, initiates it when they no longer hear from you.
By the end of that first week of the month, your data should be in. Anyone who goes two months without initiating it clearly feels differently about the practice. The ones from whom you still hear are those with whom you can safely indulge, without guilt.
The others? Probably sighing in relief, liberated from the lurking fear that “Happy New Week” might be next. And after that, “Happy Next Week”?
Because, truth be told, “Happy New Month” is not really a thing, except, perhaps, an irritating one.
I welcome the renaming of the National Theatre in Lagos in favour of literary icon, Wole Soyinka. Strictly speaking, nobody deserves it more.
President Bola Tinubu, clarifying his decision, called Professor Soyinka “our dear uncle and leader [and] one of the most talented and creative minds,” recalling “the journeys we had together and the gains I shared with [him].”
“Your contribution to our courage, nation-building, freedom, yes, in some cases, unrewarded talents, is a proverb,” he said. “But you are a jewel, our talent. You are one of the greatest assets of the world, the continent, and the country, Nigeria.”
Tinubu is right, and despite the initial reservations the recipient said he had, I am glad that he accepted the tribute. In the end, this is the happy story of a society acknowledging one of its true heroes.
Or is it?
There are those who see the other side of this story: that while it is disguised as Soyinka’s story, it is really Tinubu’s.
Soyinka gets to wear the hat, but the crown is Tinubu’s. With this award, the Nigerian leader accomplishes the ownership of one of Nigeria’s most iconic voices.
For most of his life, Soyinka was the patriot who spoke truth to power. But was he merely performing from a script? Is this, indeed, are these, the things he truly sought?
Sunday Dare slams Ted Cruz, Bill Maher over Christian genocide claims
Because now, the puppet-master holds the puppet, the professor stands as the student, and the lion has yielded the jewel.
So, “Iyaloja General” of Nigeria Folashade Tinubu-Ojo visited the Oba of Benin to inform him she was going to inaugurate one of his subjects as the Iyaloja-General of all Edo markets?
According to The Guardian, the Oba essentially dismissed her, providing the following education:
“Iyaloja is alien to us here in Benin. You are in Benin, the home of culture; we have our culture here. I have discussed this matter with my chiefs and those who are knowledgeable. Do you know the role of Iyeki in Benin culture? Every Iyeki has a special relationship with the palace. Are you aware of that? Do you know that every Iyeki has a cultural role to perform inside every market?
“The Oba does not interfere so long as the Iyeki does what is expected of her in the shrine of a particular market on behalf of the Oba.”
The mass media did not report the length or strength of the convoy by which the “Iyaloja General” had arrived at the Oba’s Palace, given that members of the first family enjoy expensive, extensive and intimidating convoy movement.
Nor did they report the mood in which a “First Daughter” so treasured that the presidency has arrogantly paid her private hotel bills at least once in the past two years, left the palace following an “Edo-Nor-Be-Lagos” experience she could have avoided. It would have been good to learn about her comportment as she departed.
Nobody reported whether, for her Iyaloja-General-inauguration-in-Edo plan, she had arrived in Benin City by a commercial flight. Or whether she departed by jet: charter or presidential. Or by road, and if so, how long her convoy was, in the circumstances.
Most of all, what happens now? Maybe she will tell her father to fire every Iyeki in Edo so she can make her own appointments?
Or perhaps demand that he depose the Oba?
‘Happy New Month’ may not be a thing, but October 1 is ‘Happy Independence Day’ for Nigerians. At least it used to be.
Six and a half decades later, Nigerians are not happy.
Ours is a tale of a nation largely at a standstill while others sprint forward.
Nigeria is the tale of a nation lacking in heroism but overflowing in hypocrisy. Our leaders put themselves, their families and inner circles first, remembering Nigeria only in speeches penned for them.
We are a nation floating on greed and indifference, our compatriots left to be identified with bruised potential and bronze medals, admiring tiny nations as they celebrate advancement and achievement powered by diligence and leadership.
President Tinubu acknowledged as much last week after he pre-empted the Independence Day parade.
“This has broken the monotony of military march-past, parade, and everything,” he declared, probably reaching for a toothpick. “By cancelling this programme, I was able to have a good sleep, have a nice breakfast, and wait for this evening.”
Me. Myself. Mine. Oga slept well. Oga enjoyed a nice breakfast and his day.
Remember Lazarus of Bethany in the Bible? Nigerians can wait. A 65-year story no Nobel laureate could ever script.
Sonala Olumhense
