In the long, blood-soaked tragedy that is Nigeria’s war against terror, President Bola Tinubu’s latest solution has arrived – not with the thunder of resolve or the force of strategic clarity, but with the soft shuffle of absurdity. Forest guards. Yes, forest guards – a ragtag band of green-clad dreamers now tasked with reclaiming Nigeria’s wilderness from bloodthirsty marauders who have mocked our military, humbled our police, and turned our forests into graveyards. That President Tinubu would dare present this feeble initiative as a serious response to our national security catastrophe is nothing short of an insult – not only to the dead and displaced, but to every right-thinking Nigerian. How can a government that has utterly failed to defend highways, secure schools, or protect military installations now expect us to believe that a thousand hastily-trained forest sentinels will succeed where battle-hardened troops have failed? It is not just foolish; it is contemptuous. A cruel joke at the expense of a nation in mourning. This is not leadership. It is lunacy.
Presidential spokesperson, Sunday Dare, who disclosed this last Wednesday evening via his verified X handle stated that the President directed that the forest guards be well trained and armed to flush out terrorists and criminal gangs hiding in the forests. “In a move to secure Nigeria’s forests, President Bola Tinubu has approved the establishment of forest guards to secure Nigeria’s 1,129 forests,” Dare noted. According to Dare: “The recruitment is a joint effort between federal and state governments. The Office of the National Security Adviser and the Ministry of Environment will oversee full implementation. Thousands of young Nigerians are expected to be employed for the initiative. President Tinubu reiterated that his administration will not surrender any part of Nigeria’s territory to criminals, vowing to take back the forests.”
At a time when Nigerians are being butchered in their farms, kidnapped on their roads, and terrorized in their homes, the Tinubu administration has the effrontery to unveil yet another dazzling display of unseriousness: the deployment of forest guards to reclaim Nigeria’s vast, deadly forests from terrorists and bandits. This move is not just farcical; it is a grave insult to the intelligence of the Nigerian people. Let us be clear: the Nigerian Armed Forces, equipped with tanks, air power, surveillance technology, and trained in both conventional and asymmetric warfare, have spent the better part of a decade struggling to dislodge terrorists from forests such as Sambisa, Kagara, and the Kaduna-Birnin Gwari axis. The Nigeria Police Force, bloated with hierarchy and starved of morale, has fared no better. And now, the President wants the nation to believe that a few thousand “well-trained and armed” forest guards – essentially eco-rangers with rifles – will succeed where soldiers and security operatives have failed?
What is particularly galling is the presentation of this initiative as a bold, sweeping move to “take back the forests.” Nigerians are not fooled. The federal and state governments have repeatedly shown they cannot even secure highways, let alone thick, unforgiving bushland where criminal gangs have had years to entrench themselves. Does the Tinubu administration truly believe that “well-armed” job seekers turned rangers; possibly recruited through the usual corruption-ridden government process, will bring the required tactical skill, intelligence support, and firepower to defeat terrorists and armed bandits?
Worse even, what makes this farce all the more grotesque is the pseudo-militaristic flourish with which it is announced; as if bandits who have downed helicopters and torched military barracks will tremble at the sight of bureaucratically assembled eco-commandos. It is the sort of cynical theater that stupid authoritarian governments deploy when they have run out of ideas but not out of press releases.
And it reeks of desperation. No serious nation; none, confronts an existential security threat by outsourcing warfare to park rangers. If this is Tinubu’s grand strategy, then Nigeria is not just adrift – it is in freefall, nose-diving into a future where governance is reduced to spectacle, and hope is rationed like kerosene. This country deserves seriousness. It deserves courage. It deserves a leadership that confronts terror with fire and intellect, not press statements and hollow gestures. The dead cannot be avenged with gimmicks. The forests will not be reclaimed by fantasy. And the people cannot be protected by incompetents playing soldier. So let it be said plainly and without apology: this initiative is a disgrace. It is a monument to strategic emptiness. A green-clad delusion paraded as policy.
Nigeria’s forests – over 1,100 of them – have long become havens for insurgents, kidnappers, and organized criminal syndicates who operate with impunity. These vast territories are often ungoverned, unmapped, and, in some places, unpatrolled. The idea that a newly conjured paramilitary outfit, cobbled together by the Ministries of Environment and National Security, can outmaneuver these entrenched warlords is delusional at best, and dangerous at worst. Our forests are no longer the stuff of folklore. They are haunted theatres of war, pulsing with the footprints of terrorists, bristling with arms, echoing with the cries of kidnapped children and broken families. These are not sanctuaries for flora and fauna. These are killing fields. And into these uncharted hellscapes, this administration now proposes to send young recruits with a few months of training, some secondhand rifles, and uniforms stitched together with the threads of misplaced optimism.
This is not a security strategy; it is national theatre. It is gallows humor in a land already suffocating under the weight of its tragedies. It is akin to sending park rangers to retake Borno from Boko Haram or asking traffic wardens to disarm AK-47-wielding bandits in Zamfara. To parade this idea as a solution is to mock the blood of the thousands who have died in the hands of these savages. This initiative is either a cynical employment scheme dressed up in camouflage or another populist soundbite with no strategic backbone. If the government is serious about reclaiming these forested regions, it should start with comprehensive intelligence-driven military campaigns, aerial surveillance, joint operations with local communities, and real reforms in the security sector. Not forest guards.
In the meantime, Nigerians will continue to suffer the consequences of leadership that confuses gimmicks for governance and performance with propaganda. Tinubu’s forest guard fantasy is a tragicomic distraction in a country bleeding from unchecked violence, and it is one Nigerians can ill afford. Mr. President, enough with the theatre. This is not security. This is betrayal. Enough with the charade. If you cannot rise to meet the moment, then step aside for those who can. Nigeria’s forests are bleeding. Its people are dying. And you cannot sweep that truth under the canopy of trees or dress it in camouflage. If this is the administration’s best thinking on security, then it is time for someone to sound the alarm: we are not just losing the forests; we are losing the country.
