Conspiracy theorists are funny people. They usually make something out of nothing. Theirs is to cook scenarios from conjectures, guesses and speculations and breathe life into it, fix it with limbs and make it to walk. Often conspiracy theories are built on lies, stark lies and deliberate mischief. They are often moulded in the asinine thoughts and desires of conspiracy theorists. These theories are structured to achieve tailored results that are often, I said often, not always, aimed at re-seting an existing order.
Conspiracy theories strive to give another side to existing narratives. They are often deployed to puncture an understanding that are held sacrosanct; to debunk a popular belief, to present another picture to the one generally held. Conspiracy theories are often developed by outsiders to a system, often with snippets provided by those who stay at the periphery of the same system to present an alternative side to that system. It is not what devil’s advocates do. Nay, devil’s advocate trend to strengthen and build a system while conspiracy theorists aim at injuring the system through the propounding and marketing of perspectives that stand in direct opposite of what the system is seen to be.
As I said earlier, conspiracy theories feed on rumours, gossip, half truths, fake narratives and outright conjunctures from the theorists who leverage on his perjorative interests to create something out of nothing and thereby, dishevel an existing order.
But conspiracy theories create and deepen the myths around their targets. Sometimes, they strengthen the same system they target for destruction and invest them with an invincible aura that makes the task of the theorists more elusive. This is the undesirable flip sides of conspiracy theories; they sometimes make their targets more stronger. But mostly, conspiracy theories weaken and destabilize systems they target on.
Shortly after President Muhammadu Buhari formed his government in 2015, conspiracy theorists went to work. Given the nature and radical outcome of the election that brought that government to power, it was not difficult knowing where the theorists were pooled from. Conspiracy theorist started flying around depending on what interest each of the various theorists were chasing. These theorists mainly consist of the defeated PDP cadres and even members of Buhari’s party who were prospecting for various pies in the emerging government.
By far, the most potent and widespread conspiracy theory that emerged in the Buhari regime was that of the existence of a Cabal they levied and enforced everything in the regime. We were told that this cabal practically decide and implement everything in Buhari’s Nigeria. We are often told that Buhari wasn’t in charge, the cabal was! It was so rife that prospecting politicians who miss out in appointments and contracts blame their bad fortunes on the cabal. The opposition , caught in the throes of it’s bitter loss of power, turned to the cabal to offload their bad fortunes. Citizens fault-finding the government and its policies dumped the blame on the cabal and every weapon was thrown on the cabal from all angles of the Nigerian space.
But what Nigerians were seduced to see as the cabal by these conspiracy theorists is no more than trusted appointees of the President who naturally were his closest advisers on multifarious issues. Call it his kitchen cabinet, this exists in almost every human organization but which conspiracy theorists have succeeded in inciting Nigerians to see in bad light hence the derogatory term, ‘cabal’ and they made Nigerians to situate all their earthly troubles in Buhari’s Nigeria on the feet of the cabal.
Conspiracy theorists went further to name the troika of Mamman Daura, the President’s cousin and then security adviser, Babachir Lawal, then Secretary to the Federal Government and Mallam Abba Kyari, recently deceased Chief of Staff to the President as the omnipotent cabal that was holding Nigeria, including (you can’t believe it) by the jugular. The cabal was invested with borderless and uncensored power to do everything. Soon, the polity got suffocated with various versions, strands and snippets of the actions of the cabal. Hurting politicians, disappointed followers of Buhari, even members of his government and party latched to these narratives, in it’s different forms and contents to explain their various stations, pains and afflictions. Incredible stories of the exploits of the cabal become so overwhelming that it became so hard shaking them off. It got worse during the time the President was indisposed and traveled abroad for medical treatment. At the peak of the malady of that time, we were fed with so much specious stories of how the cabal was ppl looting its ways through the presidency. The height of the theories was the one that said that President Buhari died, was buried overseas and the cabal clonned another Buhari and forced him on the throne or that the almighty cabal imported a certain Jubril from Sudan and made him to impereonate Buhari and continue in power
As stupid as these theories were, they were lavishly consumed by many Nigerians; even the supposedly educated. In fact conspiracy theories flower in their incredulity! They are relished even by the enlightened whose minds are seeped in mischief. Even when they know that such conspiracy theories are false, people generously subscribe to them because it powers their mischievious interests!
So coming to the cabal of Daura, Babachir and Abba Kyari, it may interest us to note that Babachir has long been removed as SGF based on conflict of interest that arose in the conduct of his official duties. Daura was removed by (wait for it), the same Vice President whom the conspiracy theories told us was rendered a house boy by the cabal he, Daura, was said to have headed. That left Abba Kyari as the sole cabal till Kyari himself died last week from the dreaded coronavirus pandemic.
So can we hear from the conspiracy theorists. Who is the cabal now that the three person’s they told us constitutes the cabal that even held the President hostage, are no longer in power? Is Buhari now free to assert himself? Has a new cabal emerged since the last of the cabal died last week? Is another cabal on the way? Who and who will make the next cabal and will they re-cage Buhari and take over as the last cabal did? Sure a brand new cabal is on the way. They already have the answer. They are presently cooking up the question. Nigeria can’t be without a cabal otherwise their labours will come to a certain end. They are already recruiting a new Chief of Staff for Buhari. Very soon, they will constitute the cabal for him.
I know the conspiracy theorists are presently in their seedy chambers conjuring the next scenarios but be careful when you devour their hemlock.
Peter Claver Oparah
Ikeja. Lagos
E-mail: peterclaver2000@yahoo.com
