Whether he meant it to be a joke, the controversial statements credited to President Buhari, amongst which, is the obnoxious and sarcastic remark that his wife, Aisha, notwithstanding her status as Nigeria’s first lady, is consigned to endure domestication as a housewife is indeed very unfortunate. Coming from some other person, the misogynistic remarks would be an innocuous comment which Nigerians may tolerate. But the comments were not just a direct insult to the president’s wife; they were demeaning and unedifying to Nigerian women; an international embarrassment and national disgrace that not only belittled the exalted office of president of the federal republic, but did little credit to the image of Nigeria’s democracy. Above all, it undermined any claim by Buhari to statesmanship, and emblemizes the abysmal level to which leadership in Nigeria has fallen; and how small the minds are in very high places. This was an inexcusable gaffe!
Mrs. Buhari had said in an interview with the BBC that she may not support her husband’s reelection in 2019. “I will not go out and campaign again and ask any woman to vote like I did before. I will never do it again.” In a manner that was sufficiently self-indicting, the President laughed off his wife’s comment, while talking to reporters in Germany after meeting with German Chancellor, Angela Merkel. To the utter embarrassment of the nation, the president said: “I don’t know which party my wife belongs to, but she belongs to my kitchen and my living room and the other room.” The president also betrayed a worrisome absence of democratic temperament claiming “superior knowledge” over his wife, while discounting her sentiments that he’s surrounded by strangers, who have hijacked the government.
No one can dispute the abysmal level of understanding of Nigerian politicians when it comes to the majesty of democracy, human rights and the rule of law. No one should be surprised, therefore, at their lack of sophistication in its practice. It is unfortunate that Mrs. Buhari took whatever disagreement she has with her husband public. But whether he was speaking in metaphor when he made reference to his kitchen and bedroom, Buhari’s viewpoints were callous and if he thought Nigerians would clap for his insulting denigration of his wife, he was wrong, his candor and honesty of speech notwithstanding. Beyond the embarrassment to the nation is the small, albeit important aspect of a larger and burning issue: gender equity and women empowerment. Indeed a president holding his wife in such contempt before the international community would be read as barbarism of Nigerians.
Whatever he wanted to say, his diction was absolutely indecorous and stripped his message of any significance. By saying his wife belongs to his kitchen, his living room and the other room (insinuating his bedroom), Buhari presented Nigeria as a show of shame, provoking a deluge of public outcry, against what was rightly perceived as a brazen objectification of the Nigerian woman as a cook, housemaid and sex object. Obviously, this was not the president’s intention, but the incident remains a most traumatic advertisement of the plight of the Nigerian woman and another open sore with its indelible imprint of guilt on the national psyche. Either way, it was an untold national shame.
By any streak of the imagination, the president’s remarks debased his wife and all Nigerian women, trampled on public morality, rubbished decorum, cheapened Nigeria and assaulted humanity. Against the backdrop of the missing Chibok girls; Buhari’s remarks was also a bitter reminder, given the progressive spate of sexual assault and violence against women, of how far behind the country is, in the great task of promoting the dignity of women. It is a telling sign of insensitivity that a President who announced during the 2016 International Women’s Day celebration that he would up the appointment of women into the boards and parastatals of the Federal Government, will be inclined to disparage and hold his own wife in such low esteem. And did so in a foreign country
No one should fail to notice in this entire saga, how Nigeria and its many ugly contradictions were again, pitifully on display. It cast in bold, the oppression and marginalization of women, which together with the abuse of girls, form a grisly metaphor of how women are wantonly abused and dehumanized by a system and decision-making process managed by patriarchal institutions. At a personal level, Buhari betrayed his ignorance of the changing dynamics of the women question, which he seems not to grasp, let alone appreciate. The president must be told in whatever language he understands that in today’s world, there is a changing role for women in society. Indeed, women are no longer home-makers, even though many are still saddled with the triple burden of being wife, home-maker and bread winner. Their universe is changing and must be understood.
Despite the significant gains that have been achieved in the past decade, it cannot be confidently said that women, nearly half of Nigeria’s population, occupy positions commensurate with their numerical strength in the machinery of government. Nigeria is nowhere near the 1995 Beijing Platform for Action recommendation of at least 30% women representation in governance. The sad and annoying part is that the president is not alone with his archaic and parochial thinking about women. Buhari spoke for most Nigerian men, especially Muslim men, who are obsessed with young, under-aged girls. These sex predators, carried away by misguided religious and ethnic prejudices, chose to justify the madness of child brides. The loquacious comment did not inspire confidence that Buhari will invigorate the National Gender Policy (NGP), a thoughtfully designed and well documented policy that incorporates relevant regional and international protocols and instruments in order to mainstream gender issues and raise the participation of the female gender in all areas of national life.
The question of women in the public space should be the pre-occupation of any enlightened leader, because the level of freedom of any society can be glimpsed from the level of freedom that its women enjoy. Today, the global demographic is weighted in favor of women and to exclude them from the processes of development is itself negating to the cause of development. Therefore, it cannot be over-emphasized that many more women are needed in the public sphere to drive development. Affirmative actions are meant to right historical hedges against women, more compelling in countries like Nigeria where men still don’t believe in gender inclusivity; that women’s rights are human rights and women ought to be treated with dignity and respect. Buhari’s archaic vision of women best advertises this.
Women should therefore reject the treacherous role of serving negative patriarchal values, and frontally attack the cultural and religious devices of subjugation. Irrespective of social norms, religious traditions and tribal customs, it should be sounded loud and clear to Buhari, whose understanding of common law is impaired by sectarian values that it is not only unconscionable, but also illegal for a man, however high his social status, to abuse a woman, even if that woman happens to be his wife. A situation where an elected lawmaker slapped his female colleague and went scot free; or where a Senator threatened to rape and pregnant a female colleague, is barbaric and never permissible by any religious doctrine.
Nigeria is awash with big men but not many with big ideas. People merely occupy positions of authority, but are bereft of big dreams and visions of greatness for the nation. Such is the tragedy of Nigeria’s leadership question. Nigeria must strive to be one nation of equal people with inalienable rights and dignity, and the president must lead by example. With the rising wave of rape, sexual harassment and other forms of abuse involving women, the President’s comments cast all Nigerian men in very bad light. We wish to assure the international community that Nigerian men don’t share the president’s opinion of his wife and women in general.
